Elbie at Trig dot Net

Tue, 22 May 2001

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Joe. He worked in a button factory. One day, his boss came to him and said "Hey Joe, are ya busy?" to which the little boy replied "Heck no!" so his boss said "then move your arm like this." and he proceeded to show the little boy how to increase productivity by reducing the number of defects.

Later in the week, the little boy's boss came up to him and said "Hey Joe, are ya busy?" The little boy was not, and indicated this to his boss. "Great, then move your other arm like this." The little boy then learned how he could increase the number of buttons he made in an hour, thus increasing productivity again. The boss was quite impressed with the little boy's abilities and gave him a modest raise.

Some time later in the month, the little boy's boss again returned and said "Hey Joe, are ya busy?" Again, the little boy indicated that he had some time to spare, to which the boss replied "then move your leg like this." The boy's boss then instructed him how to automate the button hole drilling process thus eliminating the need for three extra jobs. The men that were thus employed were layed off, saving the company even more money, and the little boy got a gold watch.

Once more, the little boy's boss appeared in front of the little boy and said "Hey Joe, are ya busy?" The little boy shrugged his shoulders and said "heck no!" And the boss replied "then wiggle your bum like this." The boss showed the little boy how he could type in all of the production data and forecasts with his ass into a special butt-friendly keyboard. The company's entire accounting department was sacked, and Joe got a pat on the back.

The very next day, the little boy's boss again walked up to the little boy. "Hey Joe," he said, "are ya busy?"

The little boy knew this was going to happen. He had been preparing for this moment. Some time previously, he had looked up on the internet how to manufacture tiny bombs using nothing more than a button press, a precision drill and a butt-friendly keyboard. "YES," he responded and detonated all the button-bombs he had produced that day, killing everyone in the building.

The End

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