Elbie at Trig dot Net

Tue, 27 Mar 2001

Once upon a time, there was a little chili pepper who sat in the ground, growing happily. This little pepper thought he was pretty hot stuff, and this was proven to his satisfaction from time to time, when a raiding groundhog or rabbit would steal into the garden and try and eat him. The offending rodent would take one tiny bite, and then its eyes would bug out, and roll around so rapidly in its sockets that it looked like a slot machine. Then the rodent's head would shoot up in the air and ding a bell that appeared out of nowhere, seemingly for that express purpose. After the head returned, the rodent would turn red, then blue, then green, and often polka-dots, but always - always plaid. Flames would then shoot out of the varmint's behind, and it would rocket out of the garden and off into the distance where a small mushroom cloud would form where it landed.

So when it started getting cold, the little chili pepper fretted not. He was hot stuff. The other vegetables would freeze and perish long before he even felt the slightest bit frosty. Unfortunately, the pepper wasn't aware of the distinction between hot spicy and hot warm, and the little chilly pepper froze to death.

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