Once upon a time, there was a little boy who used the internet. This wasn't an altogether bad thing, and the little boy occasionally stumbled across the tidbit of information here or there that actually proved useful.
Then one day, the revolution came. All of a sudden, it was nothing but on-line shopping carts, and e-porn, and if you were really lucky, on-line e-porn in shopping carts!
The little boy was almost done his science fair project, and just needed to look up some last details about the planet Uranus. So he went to a search engine and did a query. He was so amazed and elated to find thousands of matches that he figured he would just print it all out in one big binder and submit it as a supplement to his project. He started printing and the went happily to bed.
The next day, the little boy won first prize in the science fair: An all expenses paid trip to the Smithsonian Air and Space museum in Washington D.C. While walking around the reflecting pool outside, he was mugged, and killed.