Elbie at Trig dot Net

Sun, 06 May 2001

Once upon a time, there was a little rock star who was always hearing about how his coworkers were dying of drug overdoses. This frightened him to no end, and he resolved to never take any drugs ever again. From that day on, he avoided anything of a pharmaceutical nature. He avoided anything with caffeine and other stimulants. He bought only organic free range meat. He stopped drinking, and threw away everything in his medicine cabinet. He cleaned out his fridge, throwing away anything even the slightest bit moldy.

Then one day, the rock star realized he was addicted to food! He would stop eating for a while, but he wouldn't be able to control himself, and six or eight hours later, he'd be sitting down for yet another meal.

This was too much. The rock star checked himself into the Betty Ford clinic, and spent several long weeks kicking himself of the habit. Eventually, he succeeded, and he checked himself out. Free from the debilitating food dependency, he breathed a sigh of relief, until he realized that he was addicted to air!

Well, if he could beat his addiction to food, he could certainly kick this. He decided to go cold turkey without air for as long as possible.

He made it about ten minutes.

The End

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